Just my Dissatisfaction!
Papaadmin February 8th, 2009 | Viewed 693 views
Yes, this is just one of my dissatisfaction with people around in the world. I don’t know how am I going to start this posting but I just want to continue typing this out until I am satisfied it is really out of my system.
I really really do not agree on anyone saying that bad children = bad parents [or vice versa]. Whenever I see articles or anything regarding this matter, I totally fed up with it. I totally disagree when the children gone bad or “tidak masuk ajar” it is all because of the parents.
First of all, orang yang cakap ni parents kah?
Second, even already married, still no children, you have no right to say on all this that bad children or kids all due to or “memang pun” parents dia jahat juga or bad parents. [Sorry proper English is not the main topic here].
Thirdly, even if you are, you said you have children, are you sure you children already big enough and that your children will continue be good boy or girl because “konon” kau ajar yang terbaik sudah sama anak kau??? Do you know his or her future already? Are you sure your girl will not be the next prostitute at the neighborhood or your boy will not turn as the biggest drug dealer in town?
Come on. They are so many variables in this life. You just can not simply pointing finger to the parents of such kids that turn out to be drug dealer, perompak or whatever bad in this society without even looking at how the parents guided his children. The children might have caught that bad behavior from his or her friends or from outside exposure. Parents cannot monitor them 24 hours for the rest of their lives.
We parents just guiding them to be the best of their capabilities. Be good to others, respect the elders and bla bla bla. It is still them making the right decision they thought right.
We parents just hope they be good person and happy with it. Every parents have high hope with their kids. No one wants them to fail in their lives. This daughter of someone that has bad manners, bad outfit, may probably end up as the next Minister or whatever position, that actually helps the elders – giving them proper living and not “minta sedekah di tepi jalan”. That boy that spit on this grandma on the street may one day become the next PM of the country and already regretted soulfully and later become useful people by giving back his service to the community.
Come on, most parents are really nice and caring to his children and to his neighbors too but somehow still bad things happened. Their kids become bad apple in the society. Of course they got angry with their kids like this but do you think they wanted it to be like that? If you don’t know, try be a parent to at least two kids.
Parenting is really not easy. Same like being a teacher not easy. If their students failed in the big exam, I mean more than 50%, do you think the teacher said or think, “Well, they memang bodoh, not my fault!”. Ask the teacher how they feel if their students fail. Sure they broken-heart too. They taught everything they can but the student still like that. The student go back, the parents know his or her bad result. The parents give him or her extra homework at home, trying harder to help in a home environment style but the kids still “memberontak”. Still stone head. How? Who’s fault? [I know about the teacher feelings. I have a sister who taught in the secondary, in laws in high school too].
Now you see the dilemma? I just hate people who pointed parents the cause of their children become like “waste” in the community. If future can be so easy to manipulate, I already set my children to be the next lawyers or doctors and people’s champion. Think about it.
The destiny is in our own hands. In the children hands and not ours to judge or set them fixed.
Think before you talk. Think you are perfect now and you will not be poor later on. Gosh!!!!!!
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** ok, puas hati sudah sia. next story another jokes for you ok. 
Posted under: Children, Parenting, personal
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February 8th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
Wow bro…that is some serious thought…but I do agree with you on this matter…I am a teacher and I know what you are talking about….In my years of teaching (mcm lama sd mgajar), I came to one conclusion, children only can be taught how to do the right decision but yet the decision is theirs to make…those children that really think hard about their future is the one who success in academic…but to be success in life, it is not up to the parents, not the teachers, not the schools and also not the priests, but the their own thinking and efforts…the end…
February 8th, 2009 at 9:04 pm
to blame solely on the parents, not right. but to say that parents play big role in the child’s development, yes. the same goes to the other variables.
kupi2 dulu papaJ
February 9th, 2009 at 6:44 am
hai papaJ
thanks for passing by to my blog..hehe..still learning..
waaa…ur topic a bit serious this time .even i havent got my own children, but i deal with 4 kids since the past 12yrs,thats my eldest brother’s kids.so,mmg byk ni sia belajar..i agree with u.all we can do,only give the guidance to them.its up to them to decide….praying hard they on the right path…
but the mentality its really already in our culture for blaming others when sumthing goes wrong….
we need to change that….kan?
well,thats only my opinion..
February 9th, 2009 at 11:34 am
we guide & teach d best we can but if they still wanna menyeleweng, only God can help them. Well said dear
February 9th, 2009 at 11:50 am
Hmmm…not all, but like carol said, the parents play the roles on the kids well being..! Some parents really jaga the anak but still the kids turned bad..and some bad parents yang moginum and even pukul wife and the anak, but still the kids turned well..! Depends juga bah tu..! If the parents spoilt the anak(telampau kasi manja, sampai apa saja anak dia mau pun kena kasi) maybe the parents should be blamed..banyak lagi yang mau kasi salah other than the parents..TV..the Friends..Internet..alah suma lah!!
We parents can only hope the best for our kids..and i don’t think there will be any parents in the world want their kids to be bad kan??
February 9th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
Hi PapaJ ..I agree with Kadusmama ..i came across with the situation where parents (moginum, mabuk tia tau pasal anak2) but now all the kids are good,smart, blajar masuk U lagi ..now working …this is all depend on the kids sendiri kan …
February 9th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
@nimrodjo –
nimrodjo – u got it right!! Not the parents.. thats my point. Its themselves.
@chegu carol –
Carol – menag tengah minum kupi di rumah ni sekarang. LOL. You got it. Thats what I said, I really really do not agree the equation above.
@evin –
evin – Yep.. the blaming part that i reall hate. The equation bad children – bad parents just not right, kan. We can only pray they turn up good.
@theWife –
thewife – Thanks. Just one of my many frustration of people in this world.
@kaDusMama –
kadusmama – thats what I said above. It all depends but saying “bad children = bad parents” is totally wrong. Especially if the equation coming from people that has no children and not married some more. Thats what I hate. Yep… as said above too, no parents want their kids to be bad.
Imagine either one of our kids gone bad (touchwood) and everyone like pointing fingers at you, saying “Alah, memang parents dia pun gitu. Kurang ajar!”… how you think? Sakit hati kan.. thats’ one of my point.
It is the kid’s decision. No one can determine their future behavior. Luck is another thing too but thats not in the equation.
@cay –
Yep Cay. As I said above, it is the kid’s decision. Whatever the parents do, it is up to the kids. My frustration is because of the equation, “bad children = bad parents” or vice versa. I totally condemn that!!!
Thanks all for the comments. I appreciate very much. Sincerely.
February 10th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
In computing, maths, science, etc; there’s always two parts to an equation: Constants and Variables.
Constants as the name implies; cannot be changed. Variables on the other hand, can be changed.
So to get the right results, we’re better off modifying the variables. Let’s say the constant is negative, then do all we can to make the variable at least double the positive value.
…if only it’s that simple, eh?
But of course, when it comes to children, as parents we can only give our 100% love and mentorship, hope for the best and prepare for the worst.
The rest is up to God
February 10th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
@Azmeen –
Yep Azmeen. Like Wife said above, only GOD can help them when they’re out there. Thanks for your comment. I appreciate it. Let strive for the 100%