I just finished feeding milk to Preston and he asleep now. While Josh keep urging me to read his favorite bedtime story already. Now, if you are feeling sleepy or stress like me , try this exercise ….. it only takes 7 minutes top. My wife recommended me this exercise before she went to sleep with Presley. Pandai dia!

So please follow the instruction well, no skipping. The instructions were in Malay but I have translated them using my own Enggerish translation style, in bold.

ni ala taichi sikit la… sebagai intro dan warming up..
[This is ala Taichi style as intro and warming up]

tiru la macam ni… untuk melegakan bahu dan leher..
[Try follow this to relax your shoulder and neck]

wa..wa.. aaa
[wa wa wa with some english accent here]

gerak kekanan kemudian ke kiri..
[move to right and then to the left]

gerak ke kiri kemudian ke kanan
[move to the left and then to the right again]

ikut je ler… jangan terpusing kepala udah la..
[Just follow even though stupid. Just make sure your head still intact]

tepuk kuat kuat kat dahi.. ni untuk hilang mengantuk..
[slap hit your forehead as hard as you can. This is to awaken you more]

dah tu buat gerakan tangan dan badan… buat macam happy aje..
[just move your hands and body like you are really happy]

kemudian goyang2 kaki dan badan sikit… buat macam takde masaalah…
[Then just move your legs and body a bit like you have no problem one]

buat secara aggresive pula… jangan peduli apa orang lain kata..
[Now, move everything aggressively. you do not give a damn what others' said]

hilangkan semua stress…
[Now let it all out of your stress, just like that..make sure some sparkling stars seen]

pusingkan kepala…
[Turn your head... like the top]

tengok muka kat cermin sambil goyang2.. lawa tak…
[Now check your face in the mirror while doing some posing - check whether you look ok or not]

akhir sekali buat joget kucing…
[Lastly, do the malay cat dance, yesss!]

kalau tak hilang juga ambil bantal kecik gi tidur kat bawah pokok, …
[Now, if you follow all the above exercise and still the stress and sleepiness not gone, go take your small pillow and sleep under the tree, yeah ... try that]

Alright, thats enough. If you are still not awake, just follow me, GO TO SLEEP Hahahaha. Hope everything will be good tomorrow. I mean today! Good night and Good morning!

In fact, it is a good day to sleep

I am really busy today because it is Friday and I am not working by this weekend. Thank GOD for that! I have projects waiting for me to finish and some to reply. Website to upgrade and many more. I have to finish my assignment today because on my off days, I will definitely spend more time with my Josh, playing hide and seek, counter and strike near our house. Now, all this “busy-ness” of course, related to putting money to my family’s budget. Or Shall I say, Disneyland plan

So as the responsible blogger to my loyal reader from the feeds, friends and visitors here, I have to update at least a post a day. So I hope my post today can satisfy a bit your hunger. I promise I will satisfy you fully later on. Thanks for being considerate. Love you all. Oh ya, all your comments from previous posts and still no reply, do not worry. I will or probably my wife will reply it one by one later on. Thanks.

Nah, a simple jokes i once again collected from my spam box. I do check my spam box you know. Any humor is a good humor if concerning little kid. Maybe I am too involved with this parenting thing, I get emotional when it comes to kids. So here a joke just for your eyes only.

Suatu pagi seorang anak yang baru masuk sekolah primary bertanya kepada daddynya,

[PapaJoneh own Direct translation: Once upon a day, a boy whose age was only in his primary school state, asked his bapa]

Daddy, daddy., sex tu apa, daddy..?’ [Bapa, bapa, what is "sex", Bapa?]

Terkulat-kulat si ayah. Terfikir dia tentang arus kemodenan zaman sekarang yang membuatkan manusia berfikiran terbuka, termasuklah anak- anak yang masih kecil. Sesuai dengan konsep pendidikan seks yang sedang hangat dibincangkan, mulalah si ayah mencari-cari jawapan yang sesuai dengan harapan anaknya takkan tertinggal dalam arus pendidikan moden.

[what, the Bapa become mushroom!?! Anyway, He understood nowadays people are more open minded and children are not exempted. In accordance with the current concept of teaching sex education in the early stage, the father put on his thinking hat, cracking his head on how to explain such delicate subject to his son with the hope that he will not be left out from the modern education teaching]

Maka si ayah pun memberikan jawapan secara mengkiaskan kumbang dan bunga,telur yang yang menetaskan berudu dan seterusnya menjadi katak, hujan serta benih yang mencetuskan tunas, diikuti dengan pembentukan bayi dalam kandungan.

[Im blur here. The father gave the indirect explanation of what is sex is all about by taking example from the animal and flowers, eggs that turn into tadpole and finally as frog, the rain ... ??? .. end up... the baby formulation in the tummy of a mommy]

Sebelum mengakhiri jawapannya itu, si ayah menyelitkan pula kisah percintaan antara dia dan mamanya sejak dari zaman sekolah menengah lagi hinggalah kepada kelahiran seorang bayi comel iaitu si anak yang bertanya itu. Tiba-tiba si anak menangis teresak-esak. Si ayah kehairanan.

[Before ending his long winded replacement story of what sex is all about, The father continued with his own love story of how he gone "paktor" with his son's mommy during their school time right up to out of nowhere, due to probably no skill or protection, a cute baby was born and that is the boy himself. The boy suddenly cried (probably out of bored listening to his father mumbling nonsense) and this puzzled the father.]

kenapa ni?’
[what happen, why like this?]

Si ayah bertanya kehairanan. Si anak masih juga menangis.
[the father asked the boy with little bit blur and confused. The boy still cried non-stop]

‘Jawapan daddy tu panjang sangat, tapi tempat nak tulis jawapan ni pendek. Daddy ajalah yang tulis, waaaaa!!!!’
[Your answer is too long Bapa, the space to write is shorter. Why don't Bapa just write it for me... waaaaaaaa..continue crying]

Kata si anak lantas menyerahkan buku latihan Bahasa Inggerisnya yang pada muka depan tertulis…. .
[said the boy and immediately gave the English Exercise Book to his father... and on its front page ... ]
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
SCROLL DOWN….
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
..
.
.
NAME : ………… ……… ……… ….
SCHOOL : ………… ……… ……… …
CLASS : ………… ……… ……… ….
SEX :……….. ……… ……… …..

——————————————————————————

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I have a collection of jokes in my possession. I hope you all like them because this is going to be a regular post. It has its own category, so let it be then

Jokes:

Teacher: Simon, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did u copy his?
Simon: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!
…………..

Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That’s why I say she’s no good!
………….

Teacher: “Where were u born?”
Student: ” Singapore , Sir.”
Teacher: “Which part?”
Student: “All of me, Sir.”
………….

A teacher was asking her class: “What is the difference between ‘unlawful’ And ‘illegal’?” Only one hand shot up.
“Ok, answer, Joan” said the teacher.
“‘unlawful’ is when u do something the law doesn’t allow and ‘illegal’ is A sick eagle.”

Here a joke I received recently that somehow missed my spam vault. I found it funny and I want to share it with you all.
Disclaimer: Not me. Just sharing. Nothing against any individual or whatever company involved here.Get it – it is a joke ok

[tag]Pre-takeoff Announcement on a China Southern Airlines Flight[/tag]

English as it is broken in China
Subject: Pre-takeoff Announcement on a China Southern Airlines Flight

This is a true account of what was heard on a recent flight from Shenzhen to Qingtao by China Southern Airlines:”Good afternoon, Ladies and the German. This is your cheap purser Wang Lui speaking. On behalf of China Sudden Airlines, I would like to welcome you on board our Bowling 737 from Shenzhen to Qingtao. Members of my crew speak Chinese and other languages that you do not know. It is a great pressure serving you to-die. Should you need any resistance during the fright, peace do pest the call button. I and my gals are available to make you feel comfortable. Meanwhile, the airkwaft is going to fry. Peace sit uplight
and keep you belt tightly fastened until dinner is served at five dirty
p.m. Hope you would enjoy your fright with us. Funk kill.

“HOPE IT DOESN’t APPLY TO AIR ASIA…………TRULLY ASIA

Funny or not Hahahahaha. I am not laughing, you know

I have just received this photos from my big brother and he insisted that I should blog about it. Alright big brother, as per your request, here for all to see. So, want to die as grand, as luxury as this grave? What do you think?

Interested? You got money or not? Now if you are interested to know more, please subscribe free my feeds, I will let you know the easy way to get it.

No? You don’t like free things? Then by all means, get me the beer then and yeah, I don’t like the coffee

Here is a letter that you may consider of writing if you are in this situation. I believe you can use it if you really are fed up with your relationship and enough is enough. No more excuses, no more pretty faces. You be gone and never come back again. Thank you for all the years.

Dear Wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the
last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers later that night. You came home, nibbled at your food for two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore, you don’t want sex anymore or anything.

Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me. Whichever is the case,,,,,,,,,,,, I’m gone.

Signed,

Your EX-Husband

P.S. Don’t try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to West
Virginia together. Have a great life!
———— ——— ——— ——— ———

Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more enjoyable than receiving your letter. It’s true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a ‘good man’ is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. It’s just too bad it doesn’t work.
Yes, I did notice when you got a hair cut last week,,,and actually the first thing that came to my mind was “You look just like a girl”,,, but my mother raised me not to say anything at all if you can’t say anything nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was just a
coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me
that morning and your silk boxers were $49.99…
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it
out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for twenty
million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Hawaii .
But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you’ve always wanted. My lawyer said with the letter that you wrote, you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed:

Rich As Hell and Freeeeeeeeeeee!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this but my sister
‘Carla’,,,was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem for you

There you go. You think you smart, your wife even smarter, so don’t play-play ok.

If you think this is funny or the slightest useful to you, why not subscribe free to my Feeds

This just come in the mailbox. Papa want to dedicate this all to my lady friends. Let just says, the wives, the Smart wives!

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?” “Yep,” the wife replied, “In-laws.”

[Papa: Oouchh... she's good ]

WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day… 30,000 to a man’s 15,000. The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men… The husband then turned to his wife and asked, “What?”

[Papa: this sounds familiar ]

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. ” The wife responded, “Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

[Papa: How come this correct too, ah? ]

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.” The husband said, ” You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.” Wife replies, “No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.” Husband replies, “I can’t believe that, show me.” So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says………. “HEBREWS”

[Papa: You indeed smart wife! ]

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM.” He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.” Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

[Papa: You Smart, twisted Wife Your fault husband! ]

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

Oouch… that hurst, man. Really hurt!

Now, Women, tell me you not laughing now? And Men, can you handle all these? Papa honestly, definitely CANNOT! No wonder, wife and Papa always argue. She must be one smart, intelligent woman. We only stop arguing later on because son Josh just keep looking at us. OOOoopps.

Special dedication goes to … in my blog diary, has to go to Lilian. You Rock Mom! [nodding now]
Papa also need to mention other wifes in the there too. OK, not you Cindy. you are not married, Papa knows. Isk isk isk. Mother, smart wifes includes: Doris with son Clayton, Nicole with son Sean, Someone from East Cost of Singapore with son Jaymes, and last but not least, Mary Ann. Who blamed wrongly her daughter for losing her USB. She found already. [I got to keep the blue color one lah... i wonder who's USB is this.. found in the office! Hehehe]

Lastly here: To husband: I can only think one here(this is because I’m the only Papa around who ‘Kepochee’ enough to go around the ladies): Azrin, don’t be too smart. the wife may be smarter than all of us here. Hehehe. Just kidding there. No jokes no fun. Actually I got another two fathers. Azmeen, the cool knowledgeable in Linux and almost everything and Gontua, the engineer(he call it engine-air only LOL ).

additional note: Papa usually don’t pay saman. Any saman Papa throws in the rubbish. Traffic offence – got someone inside, credit card late payment – I got lawyer friend, so ignored only. Hahahahaa!.

Phheewww. A long post here on a bright sunny day outside and cool 20 degree Celcius inside this damn Computer Room, working on Public Holiday. You all lucky!

Edited: The New parent, is another good husband blog